I can't really describe how I'm feeling, which is rare, but I think nauseous is pretty close.
The Boston Marathon. Marathon Monday, as us college students called it. The most wonderful day of the school year. No class, all-day drinking fun and ridiculousness, and high spirits. This was our homecoming, our tailgating, and one of the most memorable days each year.
Not to mention my love for running. I trained for a half marathon a few summers ago, and if you follow me on any form of social media, you'll see my Nike+ runs come up in your newsfeed regularly. It's something my friends like to tease me about, but as a social media junkie and runner, it's right up my alley.
Social media: the way I found out about the "explosions." On first glance, as usual with these types of horrific events, I read "explosion" and think anything but a terrorist attack. Maybe I'm naive, or maybe I have faith in humanity-- but planting bombs in garbage cans by the finish line of one of the most honorable marathons in the world?! No. That wouldn't happen. I'd think.
But it did happen. Is anything safe anymore? I have the chills reading articles and seeing these photographs. I don't think "that could have been me." I do think how horrible and close to home this hits for me, but I mainly think about the victims, the runners, and the heroes. I know the grueling but amazing efforts of training for a half marathon in the peak of summer, waking up early for a 12 mile run, the twitching I'd get in my toes after as I'd indulge in a huge breakfast to make up for the "loss of calories" I had experienced. These people trained for a full marathon. These individuals put time and effort into running 26.2 miles so they could feel a sense of accomplishment, honor a loved one, raise money.
When you're running in a long-distance race, night-before jitters are normal. What should I eat tonight? I hope this doesn't bother my stomach. To energy gel tomorrow or not to energy gel tomorrow? Will I have to pee in the middle of the race? Will I get a PR? Will I even finish?! Shorts or pants? But "Do I need to worry about there being explosives hidden in garbage cans at the finish line?" Nah. Never. That would never even cross my mind.
But now, movie theaters, elementary schools, buses, subways, public libraries. Where are we safe. I don't want my loved ones and friends to live their lives in fear. Life is too short. Between my sister and I, I've always kind of been the brave one, to comfort her when she is afraid. I will continue to be the brave one, but I will need to be more cautious with each step.
