The Boston Marathon

I can't really describe how I'm feeling, which is rare, but I think nauseous is pretty close.

The Boston Marathon. Marathon Monday, as us college students called it. The most wonderful day of the school year. No class, all-day drinking fun and ridiculousness, and high spirits. This was our homecoming, our tailgating, and one of the most memorable days each year.

Not to mention my love for running. I trained for a half marathon a few summers ago, and if you follow me on any form of social media, you'll see my Nike+ runs come up in your newsfeed regularly. It's something my friends like to tease me about, but as a social media junkie and runner, it's right up my alley.

Social media: the way I found out about the "explosions." On first glance, as usual with these types of horrific events, I read "explosion" and think anything but a terrorist attack. Maybe I'm naive, or maybe I have faith in humanity-- but planting bombs in garbage cans by the finish line of one of the most honorable marathons in the world?! No. That wouldn't happen. I'd think.

But it did happen. Is anything safe anymore? I have the chills reading articles and seeing these photographs. I don't think "that could have been me." I do think how horrible and close to home this hits for me, but I mainly think about the victims, the runners, and the heroes. I know the grueling but amazing efforts of training for a half marathon in the peak of summer, waking up early for a 12 mile run, the twitching I'd get in my toes after as I'd indulge in a huge breakfast to make up for the "loss of calories" I had experienced. These people trained for a full marathon. These individuals put time and effort into running 26.2 miles so they could feel a sense of accomplishment, honor a loved one, raise money.

When you're running in a long-distance race, night-before jitters are normal. What should I eat tonight? I hope this doesn't bother my stomach. To energy gel tomorrow or not to energy gel tomorrow? Will I have to pee in the middle of the race? Will I get a PR? Will I even finish?! Shorts or pants? But "Do I need to worry about there being explosives hidden in garbage cans at the finish line?" Nah. Never. That would never even cross my mind.

But now, movie theaters, elementary schools, buses, subways, public libraries. Where are we safe. I don't want my loved ones and friends to live their lives in fear. Life is too short. Between my sister and I, I've always kind of been the brave one, to comfort her when she is afraid. I will continue to be the brave one, but I will need to be more cautious with each step.

Gratitude

I am reading a book called "The Secret" right now. It's all about how your thoughts-- positive or negative-- are transmitted out into the universe and effect what happens to you later on. There's a big emphasis on thinking positively, being optimistic about the fact that eventually, you will get what you desire, and being grateful. There's a section that says listing the things you are grateful for will help your mind narrow in on the things you have, rather than the things you don't have. Since I am having surgery tomorrow, I think it's a perfectly appropriate time to appreciate all the marvelous things I have in my life.

1. The sweetest, most giving, nurturing, and affectionate mother who has sacrificed so much for me and always makes me feel her love.
2. The most caring, funny, and loving father who would stop at nothing just to put a smile on my face.
3. The silliest, prettiest, and most inspiring sister who can always make me laugh and is the best roommate I could ask for.
4. The cutest, most rambunctious doggie who is so soft and cuddly, though he might not admit that.
5. A few amazingly sweet and caring girl friends who I feel an overwhelming love towards-- one I never thought I could feel for a friend.
6. A great job that keeps me challenged and constantly learning more, and great bosses and team that appreciate what I do and value my hard work.
7. "Me" time-- I was joking with a friend over lunch today that I love my "me" time so much, I wouldn't want to go back to school right now and lose it.
8. My love for exercise- I'm so happy to have such a healthy addiction.
9. A Magnolia Cupcake- that I look forward to treating myself to once I achieve my weight loss goal.
10. My apartment- it is looking prettier and prettier each week with all of the recent new additions-- our bar stand, artwork, and curtains... I love being there and feel so safe, relaxed, and cozy.

I will have an easy surgery and quick recovery.

Xo
-Riana

Love

I am and always will be a hopeless romantic. I'll always have a weakness for the good old fashioned love I've only heard about, read about, or watched in movies. Haven't witnessed it myself yet, but someday I will.

Edward and Bella, Jack and Rose, Hannah and Adam in tonight's episode of GIRLS; they all have one thing in common-- the type of love that brings tears to my eyes. I know they're all fictional characters but I believe in this type of overwhelmingly pure true love and passion. The kind of love I can feel just from observing.

I love everything about love. I love talking about it, seeing it, hearing about it, and imagining it for myself.

But being a hopeless romantic has its downfalls. Vulnerability and experiencing rejection and heartbreak are among those downfalls. Not everyone shares these qualities, or are at least, willing to admit they do. But experiencing pain is a part of life, and like a scraped knee, heartbreak is something that, with the proper care and a little bit of love from ourselves or others, will heal. And in the end, I truly believe, anyone can find the pure love that will make all of the heartbreak and pain, worth it.